


had it all

by orphan_account



Series: in the wings [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:06:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “thank you, brother."





	had it all

**Author's Note:**

> basically a warm up for a new series... and a test run, since ive been out of the writing game for so, _so_ long. 
> 
> anyway, here it is!

D1 and N1 had been virtually inseparable since they first met. and as well as being the only two prototypes made in a place where nobody so much as looked outside, they were both of the same make and model; D1 and N1 were quite literally mirror twins. as such, the two shared everything from a room to sleep in- one theyd fought the head scientists to have- something to do about wasting precious energy on mere prototypes- to hugs when testing went wrong. which they did. a lot. as time went on the scientists pushed their limits, pushed them to do more, be more, to bridge the gap between what already was and what will be.

it wasnt exactly a surprise when one of the scientists said she wanted to try something new. something new, except... only on one of them. only on N1.

D1 sat on the edge of his hard won bed, trying to understand to the scientist explaining what their latest experiments goal was. he mostly felt sick- a strange sensation hed very rarely had reason to feel stemming from his chest- and could barely focus on her words. just N1? what did that even mean? theyd always done everything together, he just couldnt let them take his brother! N1 was possibly the only good thing in his life- no, not possibly, absolutely- but he held no power here, and he was painfully aware of that. through all the horrible, awful, downright torturous things the institute had done to D1, this was by far the worst. 

_”we need to speed up the process of your developing personality. and to do so, we need to try to implant memories into your mnemonic matrix... it would greatly improve the rate of your personality development. time isnt on our side and we have to make **some** progress... and we have to do so now._

__

while it wasnt at all shocking news, it still sent a gigantic jolt of anxious energy through D1, because he knew they wouldnt stop until they succeeded or broke his brother. he feared the worst: he might lose N1 forever. if they successfully implanted the personality- the memories of some prewar cop as far as he could decipher with the limited knowledge the scientists deigned to gift him- N1 wouldnt be N1 anymore. and if the scientists did manage to break him... well, that wasnt any better.

__

directly after the scientist finished her spiel shed left the room without saying another word. D1 was grateful she went when she did. he wasnt explicitly programmed for violence, but right then he felt he could crush the whole institute through the sheer force of his heartbreak.

__

“how dare they try to erase what makes you... you! this isnt right. why create _sentient_ synths like us if theyre just going to force somebody elses memories into our heads!" D1 began, suddenly infused with what he could only imagine was hatred. pure, unadulterated hatred.

__

across the room on his own bed, N1 looked like he might faint, in spite of his inherent inability to do so. he breathed in sharply once the full weight of what was going to happen sunk in.

__

“D1...” 

__

“and why not me? im older, ive had longer to develop my personality, however slowly they think its growing. they should be doing this to me, not you. never you. you deserve better, N1. so much better than this, you deserve more. this just isnt right!” 

__

“ _D1..._ ”

__

“i dont care if theyre listening, i dont care, they cant do this! they cant say theyre going to... _destroy you_ and expect me to do nothing. i wont-“

__

“D1!”

__

D1 took a deep breath- synths didnt need to breathe but it calmed him regardless- and finally looked at his brother. 

__

"you know as well as i do that theres nothing we can do. the only way they wouldnt go through with this is if we both escaped, and i wont have you risk your life for me. i cant lose you like that. theyll do their tests on me like they always have and youll be okay. dont you see? if theyre focused on me, you have a chance to get away. get out of here and make something of your life. i will be fine here.

__

“absolutely not, N1. i couldnt leave you here. if you think i would do such a thing youre horribly mistaken.”

__

“no matter what we do, they will find a way to implant this personality. i wont be N1 anymore, and you wont have any reason to stay. now is the best chance you have at escaping. possibly the only chance youll get. you have to take it. please, for me.”

__

N1 pushed off the mattress with a huff. his eyes glowed gold, so different from the milky blue of D1s, brighter than hed ever seen. the intensity of his gaze made D1 feel another emotion he was unused to; guilt. as badly as he wanted his brother to be wrong, he knew with the type of clarity that came with being so connected to another that he spoke the truth.

__

“please...” N1s voice came out as nothing more than a broken plead.

__

“i cant... N1, i cant do that...” 

__

strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, as damning as they were comforting. and though he physically couldnt cry, right then D1 felt like he might. sharp pain spread from his chest through his whole body. N1 tightened his grip and shifted forward, almost throwing the, both off balance.

__

“promise me. promise youll try to escape once im... gone. please...”

__

“...okay. okay, i promise you N1. i promise to make my life my own.”

__

“thank you, brother.”

__

N1 stayed up with him until the lights flickered out, and to D1s surprise crawled into bed with him for the first time since they were forced into such a fuck up of a world. 

__

**Author's Note:**

> please please please comment what you think, itll help me stay motivated to finish this one out!
> 
> (also yes, im very aware of my typing style. some will hate it and i dont care. its easier for me to focus on the actual meat of writing if i type in a way i dont have to censor.)


End file.
